I have moved for the 26th time and hopefully for my last. I had done a lot of down sizing and now as I unpack I came across some pictures of my grandson when he was just over a month and a note I wanted to share.
It was looking like a very hot day in Concord NH. I am visiting my 5 week old grandson. I am enjoying my visit immensely however with the MS I don’t do to well in the hot humid heat. I had 3 choices here as I saw it. 1.) I could dwell on the past and wish I was there in the air-conditioning. 2.) I could dwell on the future and think of all the possibilities available once it got cooler or 3.) I could just be.
When I was in the hospital this past winter I learned a wonderful technique that reduces stress and anxiety. At first it was very hard to do but the more I practiced it the easier it got and my stress and anxiety was brought down quite a bit.
The instructor had us sit in a chair with our eyes closed and told us to get in a comfortable position. Then he went through the 5 senses. First he ask us to think about what we could feel. (the clothes on our body, a breeze blowing, perhaps a cold burst of air. Did we feel where the chair touched our bodies. was the chair coarse, made of wood, textured? Did we feel our heart beating, our tongue against our teeth? The list could go on and on. However each time he ask a question he reminded us not to judge it just state what we felt. He then moved to smell, What did we smell at the present, perhaps someone’s cologne or even their odor. Again he reminded us not to judge it just to state what it was. We then went to hearing. What did we hear? A car going by, children playing, tires screeching, perhaps heavy breathing from the person sitting next to us. Again he said don’t judge just make a mental note of what we hear. Then he said without opening our eyes, what did we see? Perhaps bright lights, or shadows, perhaps pictures. Again no judging. And lastly he ask us to do taste. What could we taste? Toothpaste, mouthwash, this mornings breakfast, last nights dinner. Again no judging of good and bad just experience it. This exercise took about 20 minutes. Now with a lot of practice behind me I can do it in less than 5 minutes. The point is we spend so much time ruminating the past which usually causes depression, or reviewing our plans for the future which brings on anxiety, that we totally miss the present. And when we do experience the present it usually comes with a judgement. The breeze is good, this humid weather is hot. As I was pondering this I thought about the time Moses ask God who should I say sent me. God could have responded, the creator of the universe, the God of your people, the one who has the power to destroy the world, but instead, He said, “I am, that I am” I am sent you. Notice that you can’t possibly judge that statement. It is not good or bad it just is. Isn’t that what Jesus did the whole time on earth? He stayed in the present.
Today I decided to just be. I watched the trees blowing in the breeze. I heard the birds singing and the dogs barking. I held my grandson and felt his soft skin against my body. I felt as we both sweated together. I smelled his hair, it had that baby smell. When we walked I could smell the roses and sweet honeysuckle. Someone was barbecuing chicken and I could taste the baked beans and potato salad. Babies have the unique ability to just be. Some how we teach them to think of the past or anticipate the future. Not that this is bad but where are the discussions of just being.
Yes it was a hot sweltering day around 98 degrees and I didn’t have energy to do much of what I wanted or planned however, I did “everything” as I was content to just be. It was a glorious day!
May this day be as glorious as mine was!
Fair winds and following seas,
Maggie